The Question of the Day

The question is, "How is Amanda doing in high school?"

The answer, I'm proud and happy to say is, very well.  She has transitioned better than we expected.  She has made friends with both the students and the staff.  Her best friend from middle school transferred with her and is providing some consistency and the new activities are both stimulating and challenging her.

She is picking out her clothes the night before all by herself which proves she is more like her mother than me.  She is being a constant help at home now with laundry and the kitchen, both of which are a joy.  And finally but certainly not least, she is going to bed earlier than she did during the summer.

While all this is very positive I still have to say the best part is how each morning on the drive to school she and I rock it out.  She has a playlist of One Republic, Little Mix, DJ Snake, Paramour and just for a southern twist, Toby Keith.

We go to Starbucks and get her apple juice along with my Grande Pikes Place in a Venti cup and then we go onto school.  This allows us most of the playlist which she sings along with.  It puts us both in a great mood.

She is currently bragging about her perfect attendance of 10 days and looking forward to her first field trip.

The Phone

We’ve all seen the internet post, “No Matter How Tough You Think You Are, If A Two Year Old Hands You Their Play Phone You Answer The Call.”

Amanda has loved phones her entire life.  A couple of years ago I broke down and bought her a real cellphone, an I-Phone 5 to be exact.  I put about a dozen contacts in it, me, my wife, my mother, brother, and a few of Amanda’s babysitter/friends.  Since then she has had a few of my salesmen give her their numbers.  Some amazing things have come out of this.

1.       Amanda can read well enough to know who she is calling

2.       Amanda can leave the best voice mail you’ve ever heard

3.       Amanda cannot spell anything and therefore her texts are simply annoying

4.       Amanda has never broken or lost her phone

5.       Amanda’s phone has to be recharged at the end of every day because she is a typical 16 year old girl

I think what is most enjoyable about her phone calls though is how much better she speaks on the phone than she does in person.  She has taken the time to think out what she wants to say and she projects and enunciates. 

Now, Facetime is a whole other story.  She holds the phone and iPad too close to her face and you only see her eye.  It really is just a waste of bandwidth.

I've missed the Bench

I’ve missed the bench

This past year has been different than the previous years and for that I am thankful.  We took our third trip to Disney World last September and it was a grand time if not a little more taxing than years past.  We took Tina’s family: sister, her husband and son, and both her parents.  Five people can get through Disney with minimal difficulty, which is what we did in 2012.  Eight people is more like a group of refugees.

Granted, we did see and do more than we had in the previous two visits, but at the same time we also decided that we don’t need to go again for a while.

After that I had several months on work related issues to deal with that left me in a non-communicative mood.  To put it bluntly, I was a grump with very little to say that anyone actually needed to hear.  But, at the same time, Amanda continued to grow up and simply become a sweeter and better person on a daily basis.

Then in December of last year there was the kitchen remodel.  The only thing I want to say about this other than the end product is great: CONTRACTORS LIE!

The spring was uneventful with one major exception, Amanda had a blood test that didn’t require me to restrain her.  She was as brave as she could be and we all survived.

At the end of May Amanda graduated from the 8^th grade.  She walked across the stage by herself and shook the hand of her principle and hugged a vice principle.  She was the first person anyone clapped for and a lot of us cried.  Simply put, she is awesome.

In June we took a nine day trip to Boston and New England.  It was Amanda’s longest trip to date and she did great.  It was a nearly flawless trip with the exception that I forgot half her wheelchair.  But we rented one which actually worked better.  And as I told Tina, “If I didn’t screw things up, how would we ever learn?”

Over the course of the summer Amanda has been coming into work with me almost daily.  She helps the ladies in both accounting and sales and has grown because of it.  Her vocabulary and conversational skills have improved to the point where it is hard to believe where she was just three years ago.

In July we took a road trip to North Carolina.  This was 1,200 miles one way with our final destination being Carolina Beach.  We rented a condo for five days and while I worked with my area sales rep, Amanda attempted to remove all of the sand from the beach.  Both she and Tina love the beach and they are planning our next trip, all be it much closer.

Now we are at the end of summer.  Amanda starts high school next week.  We are approaching the last few laps of the school district saga of our lives.  I imagine this time will fly by because as I write this I realize I just recapped an entire year.

Kickoff

It's football season and two thirds of my household is ready.  This year Amanda has her own fantasy football team.  When I asked her to name it she came up with "The Dominators."  Meanwhile, I will be leading the Bowlers to victory.

One thing that is necessary with kids like Amanda is the need to get them involved in your activities.  If you don't, there is a good chance they aren't going to let you do anything at all.  So she is signed up with the rest of my friends and has already decided we are eating a lot of chips and dip this fall.

First week of school

The first few days of school have been going well.  Amanda got back in the swing of things like she had only taken a couple of weeks off and not three months.  She is so much more relaxed about things now and it makes all the difference in the world.

Like all teenagers though, I'll ask her, "What did you do at school today?"  And her answer will be, "Nothing."

But then a little while latter we'll be sitting down and visiting and she will start telling me everything without a prompt.  Apparently a lot does go on up at her school and in her class.

Her favorite class is history because, as she says, "I like to learn things."  And her least favorite class is math, because, "They make you count everything."

I like the fact that she and I agree on those two classes.  The biggest mistake I ever made was convincing my 8th grade teacher that I could do algebra the next year.  I spent the next  four years of high school and two semesters of college killing my GPA.  And guess what, I have an app for all that now.

Something for Me

It was suggested that I find an activity for myself again.  These past two years I kept myself occupied with writing two books and going to the gym on a very regular basis.  Then I kind of hit a wall.  The books are finished and a new work schedule changed up my free time for the gym.  So the past six months or so I've been in kind of a limbo.

Well yesterday, out of the blue, a new friend of mine asked if I would join his bowling team.  So I decided that sounded like a good idea.  Last night was our first night.  I'm a decent bowler, I have my own ball and shoes but this team I joined is kind of stacked.  My 171 average that I established last night is 30 plus pins lower than the next guy on the team. 

But there is an up side to this.  Even though I don't work out as often as I used too, compared to the regular members of a bowling league I'm in prime condition.

Knuffle Bunny

Amanda is 15 1/2 years old and her favorite books are the Knuffle Bunny books by Mo Willems.  They are short picture books about a girl named Trixie and her favorite toy, Knuffle Bunny.  Each of the three books shows that Trixie is not very responsible with her stuffed rabbit that she can't live without but can't seem to keep up with either.

The best part about these books is that I have them completely memorized.  I turn the pages and recite them Amanda who is enthralled with the story.  As soon as I finish on of the three books Amanda goes to bed.  The whole process takes less than 10 minutes.  This is one of the great improvements we have made the past couple of years. 

Back on the Bench

Has it really been a year since my last posting?  Well, I suppose it has.

A few things have changed in that time but the bench remains.

I volunteered as a mentor at the high school and that went very well.  The young lady, Jessica, is now off to college at the University of Arkansas in Monticello.  She is an energetic teenager and possesses more raw intelligence than I ever have.  I think she taught me more than I did her.  But we both have a love of games, particularly Words With Friends.

I travelled a lot more this past year.  Trips from Jacksonville, FL to Anaheim, CA and many places in between.  Amanda and Tina have accompanied me on many of them.  We went to Denver in June and I took Amanda to her first baseball game.  It was scorching hot but we enjoyed ourselves.  We also went back to Disney World last September and we're returning again next month. 

As far as Amanda goes, she is growing up in a lot of ways.  She started back to school today, the 8th grade to be exact, and she got out of the truck this morning like she had only been out for the weekend.  Her maturity has progressed but there are still many of the same issues.  She doesn't transition well, she must have routine, she will seldom try new foods, and she doesn't do well on foot if she is in a crowd.  But, on the upside, her sense of humor is more developed, she likes to play Skylanders, All be it not very well.  And she will spend more time entertaining herself than ever before.  That last part is all important because I'm not getting any younger.

I will be more diligent in my postings and do some back tracking because there have been a lot of fun times this past year.

A Few Words Mean A Lot

As summers go this has been a good one in spite of the rocky start.  Amanda didn't miss a single day of school last year due to illness but in the month that followed she suffered a severe head cold, an infected spider bit and salmonella.  But she got through them all like a champ and the last few weeks has been enjoying every single day.

I've enjoyed the summer as well.  Last weekend was my 25th high school reunion and Tina and I were able to enjoy a pair of nights out as adults.  That hasn't happened since my 20th reunion.  One of the nicest things to happen for me as I reconnected with old friends from my awkward teen years was briefly talking to a friend who lives out of town.  She sees all my posts on Facebook, most of which have to do with being Amanda's dad, and she said, "I love your daughter as much as you do."  That warmed my heart.

Like all parents, I worry about my child's future.  But, being the parent of a PDD child the worries are compounded because she will always need assistance, guidance and protection.  Just knowing there are other people beyond my close circle who care about Amanda and people like her helps me cope with the stresses brought on by the facts of my child's life.

Thank you Marty, for your kind words.

Just a musing

I was getting dressed this morning and looking at myself in the mirror and I was thinkingf, "If there was a way to go back in time and not eat all the cheeseburgers that I have consumed in the last 20 years I would look better for my 25 year high school reunion.  But I would be so miserable that I probably wouldn't attend."  

Very little is more therapeutic than a really good cheeseburger.

Teenage defiance

Yesterday I experienced yet another first with Amanda.  This is how it went down.  We had just finished lunch and Amanda went and sat on the couch and I went to my bedroom.  From the living room I heard Amanda ask for a pudding cup and I said, "No."

This was not the answer she wanted and she said, "Come on Dad."  And again I said no.

I promise, not a minute later I walked into the kitchen and I catch Amanda putting a spoon in the sink and holding an empty pudding cup.  Her answer was, "Uh oh.  Don't tell Mama."

I said, "Mama isn't the one who told you no, I was."

Amanda kind of laughed and said, "Not scared of you."

A Good Day

Amanda comes to work with me most every morning during the summer.  It's a practice that started some years ago and one that doesn't look likely to change anytime soon.  Especially now that she helps so much.

Every morning she helps me straighten my office up from the day before because I don't bother doing it before I leave because I know we'll handle it in the A.M..  Then she helps my mother and sister sort the mail.  Then she helps either accounting or order entry/reception.  That is, unless she wants to sit in with her BFF Heather and just gossip.

Today was an interesting day because after she helped me with my office she realized my mother and sister weren't coming in and Heather wasn't here.  So she simply helped take papers back in forth between order entry and the receptionist.  A few minutes before it was time to leave for lunch I went down stairs and heard her talking to a freight salesmen.  Amanda walked up to him and explained that she worked at JCM, gave him her business card and talked about the convention we just returned from.  The receptionist asked Amanda where the convention is going to be next year and Amanda accurately informed her that it would be in Denver.

The thing that I loved about this three minute exchange was Amanda prompted it all and said things in a way that was more mature than just a few weeks ago.  The interaction she gets with the adults in my office is the best therapy she could have and I know I am blessed to be in such a situation to provide it for her.

The school year ended more than a month ago and all I can say about Amanda's 7th grade year was she got her money's worth.  She matured so much in the new environment that it is nearly impossible to list all of her new abilities so I won't really try.  What I will say is this, she has become the most delightful person I have ever been around in my life.  She is considerate and animated.  She is loving and animated.  She has become quite the conversationalist and did I mention ANIMATED?

By animated I mean this little person is aware of what she is doing and is going for maximum effect.

Like today, she told somebody at my office, "Texas Rangers won last night."  He replied, "No they didn't, they lost in extra innings."  Amanda threw her arms in the air and said, "You asked the wrong person."  He said, "I didn't ask you, you just told me."  Her final reply, "Don't even start it."

Last week in the pool I had the fountain turned on for the first time.  It's a basically a sprinkler that throws an arc of water.  It can be adjusted so that it shoots high across the pool and and rains down.  Our entire time in the pool I had it on a low setting and Amanda simply stayed under the falling water for thirty minutes or so.  When it was time to get out of the pool I set the fountain on the higher setting so it would cool the water that will otherwise boil.  Amanda sees the water raining down and yells, "Hold on a minute!!!"  She then swims out to the middle of the pool and floats on her back for about five minutes and says, "Oh Yeah!!!  That's the stuff!"

And finally, Monday night we had three kids over while their parents went out for the evening.  The six year old girl is precious but the two year old is well, well she is two so she is pretty much like a badger with rabies.  The three are in Amanda's room with the door closed and they are laughing and playing.  The kids parents show up and I'm talking to the dad and now the sound from Amanda's room is akin to the monkey cage at feeding time.  The six year old comes out and tells her daddy that the two year is about to tell on her but she only did what she did because the little badger was being mean to Amanda.  The daddy tells the two year old to come out of Amanda's room.  As the child leaves you hear Amanda exclaim, "OH THANK GOD!!!"

And that is what I say too.  Amanda has surpassed what I have ever dared thought possible and she is only fourteen.  These next few years are going to be awesome.

Bedtime

We went through a fairly long period of time where Amanda had a hard time falling asleep at night. She simply would not relax and lay down. So finally we tried an old remedy that I had forgotten worked as well as it did. I started reading her bedtime stories.

When she was younger we read Dr Suess and other funny stories. She loved when Tina would read ARE YOU MY MOTHER?

But with the modern age, we got away from that. She would watch movies on her TV or iPad. Night after night taking longer to fall asleep. Needless to say, it got to be a dreadful time.

But about two months ago I grabbed Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone off the shelf. It took two months but we finished last week. Some nights I would read ten pages while other nights only a couple of paragraphs. She reaches over, closes the book and tells me to leave so she can sleep.

We started The Chamber of Secrets a few days ago and are still on chapter two. At the rate we're going I have bedtime figured out until she is about 30

The Latest

There isn't enough space on the Internet to detail all of the changes that have gone on with me and mine since the last post, so I'll explain the most significant accomplishments.

At Thanksgiving Amanda sat through her first movie in a theater. It was the new Muppet Movie. She LOVED it. We quickly downloaded a number of other Muppet movies to her iPad and she spent the next month in love with them.

Then Christmas rolled around and we went and saw The Chipmunks: Chipwrecked. She feels about this movie and the two other Chipmunk movies like I feel about the Lord of the Rings trilogy. She even went back the next week to see it again with just Tina.

Then I made the mistake of downloading the soundtracks to the Chipmunk movies. Did you know, there ain't no party like a chipmunk party because a chipmunk party don't stop? Tina and I are very aware.

Tuesday we asked her to please turn it down, it was driving us crazy. Amanda's answer was. "Don't talk about my Chipmunks like that, you don't understand." Okay, she is a teenager.

We tried to throw her off a little by taking her to see A Joyful Noise. She liked it and has the soundtrack to it as well. She sings Man in the Mirror from it rather well. But my baby girl needs to dance, and that means CHIPMUNKS!!!

And just so you understand where all this music is coming from, Amanda has an iPhone 4 synced to a Jawbone Jambox. 85 decibels of ALVIN!!!

Speaking of her iPhone. I like to FaceTime call her from work after school. The problem with this is she is so near sighted that she holds the phone right up to her eye to see me. It's like I'm talking to Salron from Mordor.

No need for sunscreen

Something new is happening at our house and I can't say it is a real good thing. Amanda is waking up at 4 AM more often than not, and then staying up.

We're taking turns dealing with her for the two hours before daylight and we're handling it without too much difficulty. The thing is, she is being so darned sweet about it. She fixes my coffee and lays out her clothes for the day. We visit about a variety of subjects because she has developed an opinion on EVERYTHING.

School starts next week. Our hope is that the new school will wear her down so she will sleep a little longer. Who knew that 6 AM would be sleeping in.

If she doesn't start sleeping a little later I will have to give her to a dairy farmer. I know they wake up early.

A summary

She isn't different, she is unique and that is what makes her beautiful.

When Amanda walks it is more of a toddle with clinched fists. She is neither fast nor agile but she gets where she is going and it always makes me smile.

Waiting for her to walk "any day now" was the hardest thing I ever had to do as a parent, but she gets it done now.

A therapist asked me years ago, "What is your dream for Amanda?"

I replied, "I would just like to have a conversation with her."

Well, now she has a lot to say. The words may not always be in the right order and she can't pronounce the letter R, but wow, this young lady has a lot on her mind.

She is truly a teenager, because as my wife said today at lunch, "Sometimes she looks right through me like she thinks I'm an idiot."

We still have to help her with a great many things that a five year old can actually do themselves, but she is progressing. Will she plateau? I can't answer that. When I see her doing complex tasks at home and at my office that I never thought she could do, it gives me hope. As a parent of a special child, hope is something that is embraced and cherished. It is more valuable than money or prestige. It is the one thing that we all fight to gain because hope generates strength which is what we all need.

A nice trip

We took a trip to Washington DC recently. I had a convention to attend and it seemed like the perfect time to take Tina and Amanda out of town.

Amanda flies well. Her small build actually allows her to be comfortable in coach while us normal sized human beings wonder how many of the Seven Dwarves work for Boeing.

American Airlines does a great job with Amanda's wheelchair. We board right after the pilot and get settled in and then watch the other 140 passengers try to store their 280 carry ons on an oversold flight.

We stayed at a Homewood Suites. Tina and I had the bedroom with the kingsize bed and Amanda used the sofa pull out. We had enough supplies with us to survive Amanda getting food poisoning and cholera but she showed her maturity and had five perfect nights.

Our first full day we went from the Washington Monument to the Lincoln Memorial. Everybody asked me how Amanda did. She did great, her feet never touched the ground and she didn't have to climb any stairs. My legs hurt for two days.

While I was working the convention, Amanda and Tina went to museums and the zoo. Tina discovered the entire national zoo was an uphill experience.

The dinners were nice. We ate with one of my salesmen who had brought his wife and two daughters, for three nights in a row. The kids really bonded with one another and I thought it was special. Amanda all but overdosed on chocolate cake.

The main reason she wanted to go to DC was to see Dorthy's shoes at the Smithsonian. Amanda watches the Wizard Of Oz at least twice a week. So she all but burst when she saw them.

One of the upsides to trips like this, other than the enjoyment we have at the time, is how much Amanda matures. She is forced out of her comfort zone and has to try harder and the great thing about Amanda is, once she does something the first time, she will do it again.

We're through traveling for the summer, but she is counting down the days until our trip to Disney this fall. She says she doesn't want anyone to tell her about it because she wants to see it herself.

Latest trip

I had a quick trip to Chicago this week for an important meeting.

I flew out Tuesday morning from TXK to DFW. Had a nice lunch at TGIFridays and then proceeded to wait and wait for my delayed flight.

I ended up in the dreaded middle seat of an MD-80 but was fortunate enough to sit next to a retired minister. He saw the latest picture of Amanda on my iPad and commented on her smile. I'll attach the picture to the post.

We had a pleasant conversation about being a parent and he asked me about the challenges of being Amanda's dad.

I had a hard time really considering them challenges, it's simply what it takes to be her Dad. Like Monday night when she was so distraught about her softball game being postponed due to weather. I had to bear hug her until she relaxed. That's not a challenge, that is parenting.

The old man liked my outlook on it and I have to admit, his admiration made me feel pretty good.

My flight home was delayed more than two hours which ate up my hour and a half layover. I missed the last flight to TXK and once again questioned my company's choice for it's international headquarters.

But I got lucky. My area salesman for Texas was home in Lewisville, TX, only thirty minutes from the airport. He picked me up and started driving me east while Tina and Amanda came west with enthusiasm and gusto. At 10:15 I met my beloved girls in Greenville. I transferred my suitcase from on vehicle to another and then drove them the 120 miles home. They said they had a fun drive and were glad they could rescue me.

Amanda fell asleep in the car a few times as it was past her bedtime, but she never complained. We had her tucked in by 12:30.

So, when someone asks her about the challenges of having a traveling daddy, she can say, "They aren't challenges, I just do what I have to do."

Singing

Last night Amanda sat on the couch and sang along with the funny duet called TROUT FISHING IN AMERICA. One song is 18 WHEELS ON A BIG RIG. She was adamant in her claim that it was the best song ever.

Her speech is nasally and slurred for the most part, but she loves to sing. Every morning when I drive her to school we play music and she sings. She only needs to hear a song a couple of times before she knows it so her catalog is quite extensive. But her school is so close we only get one song. In the fall she will go to the middle school, which is across town. She was concerned that I wouldn't like driving her so far, but I assured her that I don't mind because it will give us more time to sing.

It is things like this that make all the difference.