I signed up for this

I can tell I'm getting older. Yesterday I played in a golf tournament. The day was cool and damp. We've had so much rain lately that the driving range was closed for the event so we had to start cold. On the first hole, a par 3 playing 150 yards I used an 8 iron. On just the first swing my left bicep cramped up like it had been twisted at least 45 degrees. That nagged me all day. It took another four holes just to get all my parts working, but I played well enough as the "B" player that we came in 2nd out of 18 teams.

The real pressing issue of the day was it was Monday, bowling night for Amanda. I missed our weekly dinner with her and Tina at a little deli we eat at before we bowl and didn't make it to the alley until 6:20. When I showed up Tina had her and Amanda's friends half way through the first game. Amanda told me she didn't need me and sent me home.

I was happy about this but a little dejected too. I really love my family time but I guessed Tina and Amanda didn't need me as much tonight and felt like doing me a favor. That was until 3:30 this morning when Amanda woke up to bm and needed help changing her pullup. So I put on my latex gloves, cleaned her up and put her back to bed. Before she fell asleep she said, "Thank you help me." I just can't describe how that made me feel, but the only thing I could think to say was, "Always."

It's difficult to describe how a child like Amanda can effect their parent. She is such a pure and gentle soul. Simple in so many ways with no agenda other than living and being happy. She has fewer facades than a lot of kids her age but is none the less flawless. When Tina and I decided to become parents after 6 years of marriage I only knew that I wanted to feel this way, I didn't have any idea about the how it would happen. But then again, that is the same for everyone who decides to become a parent.

So being 40 years old with a special needs daughter is all right with me. A little physical pain and still waking up in the night to help a child long after the years of most is nothing short of the good life.